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Unfair assumption #12: People who purchase and use amateur fireworks lack intelligence and do not value their fingers appropriately.

People who purchase and use amateur fireworks lack intelligence and do not value their fingers appropriately. This unfair assumption may have more to do with my fear of exploding objects, the typically unimpressive nature of amateur fireworks and the frequency at which amateur fireworks and alcohol are combined, but I don’t think so. Unfairly or…

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Dead? Then why not be the firework? And not dead shark chunks.

I have a friend whose funeral plans involve floating her corpse in a boat into Long Island Sound while her friends and family gather on the shore. Once the boat is at a safe distance, it will be detonated as John Lennon’s “Imagine” serenades the bereaved. Best of all, I have been given permission to…

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