I know these men exist, but I don’t know any of them

You know those guys – it’s always a man – who drive in the third lane of the highway at high speeds, flashing their lights at any car that get in their way?

Who are these guys?

I’m serious.

In my entire life, I don’t think I’ve ever known a man who would do such a thing.

Not one.

Are these the same guys who smoke cigars at sunrise while playing golf? The same guys that park their car on the diagonal lest someone park alongside them? Are these the same guys who are chronically rude to waitstaff? Cat-call women on the street? Order bottle service and then talk about having ordered bottle service long after the night is over?

I don’t think I know any of these guys, either. I don’t think I’ve ever known any of them. I see them all the time, in restaurants, the golf course, my rearview mirror, and other places, but I don’t think I’ve ever befriended or even been friendly with any of these guys..

Do they flock together like geese? Move in herds like buffalo? Cluster like maggots?

I think they must. RIght?