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grin and bare it

A blog by Matthew Dicks

2007 was not a good year

By Matthew Dicks | July 16, 2010

2007 proved to be a hell of a tough year for me. As the clock struck twelve and 2007 passed into history, I recall kissing Elysha on a dance floor and sighing, “We survived.” Yes…

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Worst excuse ever

By Matthew Dicks | July 16, 2010

My friend, Tom, can’t play golf with me this afternoon because he is “making pickles and dill green beans.” The man already lives in colonial times, heating his eighteenth century home with wood, growing most…

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Guest blogger: My agent, Taryn Fagerness, explains her life in the foreign rights world

By Matthew Dicks | July 15, 2010

Greetings from Matt’s literary agent! When I opened my own agency in 2009, I decided to specialize in the selling of foreign rights (along with selling domestic rights for authors like Matt). Matt often complains…

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Cruelty on display

By Matthew Dicks | July 15, 2010

Conversation between me and two cashiers, a dorky, teenage male and a slightly overweight, generally unattractive teenage female, at Border’s Books and Music. The dorky male was scanning my purchases while the girl was waiting…

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A brave new Snoopy Sno-Cone Maker

By Matthew Dicks | July 15, 2010

My friends really are the best. I received information on the most current version of the Snoopy Sno-Cone Maker from a Facebook friend: The description reads: For nearly 30 years, the Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine has…

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Three best compliments ever

By Matthew Dicks | July 14, 2010

The first came on January 1, 1988. I was sixteen years old. I was standing on a bridge in California, strapped to a bass drum, ready to march in the Rose Bowl Parade. Two teenage…

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Poverty breeds careful planning and worn-out rubber

By Matthew Dicks | July 14, 2010

In the midst of my recent obsession over an adult-sized Big Wheel, it occurred to me that when I was a kid, I desperately wanted the Snoopy Sno Cone Maker. What kid wouldn’t want to…

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Friendship rating guidelines

By Matthew Dicks | July 13, 2010

In preparing to revise my famous Friendship Application, I was explaining to Bengi, my DJ partner, best man in my wedding, and friend of more than twenty years, that one of the ways that I…

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It’s coffee.

By Matthew Dicks | July 13, 2010

New statistic 97.3 percent of all jokes regarding coffee are not funny. Listening to a podcast the morning, the hosts began the show by warning listeners that “Brian just drank a mocha cappuccino, so we…

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Handsome not always nice

By Matthew Dicks | July 12, 2010

Can we all agree to refrain from ever referring to any female as a handsome woman? I don’t understand this expression. What does it really mean? “You used to be beautiful, but now that you’re…

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