Skip to content

For the third time this week, I have found myself in a single-person public restroom, door locked, conducting my business, when someone attempts to open the door, discovers it locked, and then knocks.
Who are these people?

When you encounter a restroom door that is locked, what goes through these moron’s heads?

I wonder who is in there.

Maybe he will let me join him.

Perhaps he isn’t aware that I am waiting, despite the clear jiggling of the door handle.

Knocking is fun.

In response to these morons and their idiotic knocking, I have officially adopted a new policy that I have been using for more than a year, much to my delight.

In response to the doorknob-rattle-followed-by-knocking, I respond to the knock in a clear, loud voice, stating the first and most ridiculous thing that comes to mind. Phrases like:

Hark! Who goes there?
Tally-ho my good man!
Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!
Tis MacDuff, come to find King Duncan slain!

Last night I used, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush!” and I could hear the giggles on the other side of the door.

Last week, while dining in Cosi, I used, “The truth shall set you free!” which also managed to get a laugh.

And thus life has become a little more fun for me.

Leave a Comment