On a happier note…
You’ve got a pretty good comeback to anyone trying to use a “your momma” joke on you (which I tell my students to never, ever use).
Insult: Your momma’s so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball.
Retort: Actually, my mom is dead.
I’ve had the opportunity to use this retort more than once, injecting great amounts of awkwardness, embarrassment and discomfort into the world. There’s no better way to put a positive spin on an otherwise horrible circumstance.
If my mom was watching, I think she would’ve smiled each time.