Posts Tagged ‘mother’
After almost getting my wife nothing on Mother’s Day, it turns out that I gave her a lot. The list is extraordinary.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms of the world, and especially my wife, Elysha, the best mother I have ever known. Please remember, mothers, that there’s an apostrophe in Mother’s Day, meaning it’s your day. Don’t let anyone else’s expectations interfere with your desire to do whatever the hell you want. It’s your day, damn…
Read MoreA goal for 2016: An agreement that these parents are awful, disgusting, rotten people
Can we all agree that parents who actively oppose their child’s interracial, inter-religious, or same sex marriage are awful people? They are still mothers and father, perhaps still worthy of love and respect, and possibly possessing many admirable and endearing qualities, but they are also awful, disgusting, rotten people. We can all agree to this.…
Read MoreMy son cracked his head open with a lamp. My wife’s reaction to his head wound was unusual but surprisingly typical.
Our boy pulled a lamp down onto his head last night, necessitating a trip to the emergency room. A little glue and some Steri-Strips, and he was fine. He’ll have a scar in almost the same place where his father got his first scar at about the same age. Of course, because it was…
Read MoreThe right time and place for a mohawk
My wife sent me these photos in an email entitled Epic Bath Time Mohawk. I couldn’t help but think that Elysha would find my son’s mohawk much less appealing in sixteen years. There really is a time and a place for everything, and in a mother’s mind, the time and place for a mohawk is…
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